About Me

somewhere along the past 38 years i grew up enough to let go of things i held onto for far too long. i never realized how heavy they were.

and each time i think i will wake up, i don’t. pinch. pull. i am awake. this is real.

there i was just living life – wandering along – minding my own business. working. falling in love. going to school a few times. making a home. getting married. life – she was sweet.

2 weeks after my honeymoon i started having petite seizures. i’m always good at writing health things off as something else. i was tired. stressed. i had just gotten married. my chiropractor was concerned right away. after determining i wasn’t having a brain hemorrhage, he convinced me that i needed to see a neurologist. (THANK YOU, Doc Halperin!)

we quickly figured that whatever the issue was – it was in my brain. they treated me with ani-seizure medications that made me crazy – like seriously crazy, but stopped the seizures. stuffed into a few MRI tubes. and various other tests. i was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in November 2006. life….she’s sometimes a bitch.

i was lucky. i was diagnosed quickly. many people struggle with diagnoses for years before getting an answer for the multitude of symptoms that come along with this disease.

MS is not who i am. and MS has not stopped me. MS is something that i deal with every day. something that i carry around all the time. it is a progressive, degenerative life altering disease. i seem to have stood in the wrong line, like signing up for a class in college – but now i can’t withdraw.

it’s been 10 years now. we bought a home in CA and moved across country. we struggled. we laughed. we tried hard to had a baby. Devland was born in 2012. we lost our two kitties and gained two more. life keeps going along.

i spent 10 years on a self injectable medication. every day for 8 years and three times a day for the last two.  i made the switch to Gilenya. i now take a simple pill once day. the difference that makes in my life is immense. so far so good. i stay healthy. eat decently. take my supplements. and get stuffed into MRI tubes a few times a year. there are days i almost forget i even have MS. yes – there are some bad days. but most of my days are really good!

i joke – MS happened to the right person. i’ve got things to do. i have a life to lead. i have big plans, and some holes in my brain and spine are certainly not going to stop me from getting there. they may slow me down at time – but slow and sometimes unsteady – i’ll get there.

so why did i write all that stuff if MS isn’t who i am? well – my journey here may be able to help others. my outlook – my hope for my future – and my strive to get there – maybe it can help someone else living with this disease see – that there is a future, even for those of us with MS. come on – let’s GO! there is so much to do out there!

MS SUCKS.

but that ain’t stopping me.